A COMPLAINT FREE WORLD

We did an interesting thing at my parish church recently. Our pastor handed out purple rubber wristbands, which are part of the “A Complaint Free World” campaign. The idea is to put the band on either wrist, and whenever you catch yourself complaining, gossiping, or criticizing, you have to move the bracelet to the other arm and start again.

The goal is to go 21 straight days without having to move the wristband. According to the program’s founder, the Rev. Will Bowen of Kansas City, whoever reaches that 21-day goal will find that his or her “entire life is happier, more loving and more enjoyable.”

As a rule I’m not a big fan of the colorful wristband fad, which I think began with Lance Armstrong’s “Live Strong” yellow rubber bracelet, and now includes a rainbow of colors and causes, everything from “Autism Awareness” to “Red Sox Nation” to “Save the South American Rubber Trees” (by wearing rubber wristbands? Hmm, interesting).

A while back I wanted to start a new wristband fad, with people wearing black rubber bracelets to support my important cause: “Eliminate Trendy Wristbands.” (For some reason it never caught on.)

When the “Complaint Free World” program was first announced at church, I turned to my wife and whispered, “This is dumb,” to which she replied, “You already have to move your wristband, and you don’t even have it yet!”

Once I did get my purple bracelet, I was moving it back and forth so many times, it rubbed most of the hair off my wrists. (And the more I complained about THAT, the more hair got rubbed off.)

The “Complaint Free World” website (AComplaintFreeWorld.org) points out an interesting Catch-22: “If you hear someone else who is wearing a bracelet complain, you may point out their need to switch the bracelet to the other arm; BUT if you’re going to do this, you must move your bracelet first!”

When you start to focus on complaining, it’s amazing how often we do it. (OK, fine. It’s amazing how often I do it.) The whole concept behind this program is that, sure, there are a lot of bad things that happen in life that we cannot control. But in most cases, our level of happiness or unhappiness is determined by our attitude, which we can control. And many people make themselves downright miserable because they have developed the habit of constantly complaining and criticizing. I know this sounds a lot like one of those touchy-feely bozos you see on Oprah—oops, gotta move my bracelet again—but in this case I think it makes sense.

The problem is, our American society has taken complaining and criticizing to an art form. For many of us, that’s all we do—and we’re proud of it. I found it interesting that this program began in a church setting. I’m convinced if Jesus himself came back to become a pastor at one of our parishes, immediately people would start writing nasty letters to the bishop. “He’s changing everything.” “I don’t like the music.” “We’ve never done it that way before.” “He has a funny accent.” “Did you see how long his hair is?!”

(I think that last paragraph requires me to move my bracelet again.)

So realistically, is this program going to produce a “complaint free world”? Sure, and Hillary is going to give us FREE health care. (Darn, gotta move the bracelet again.) But maybe for some folks, such as the guy I see in the mirror each morning, it will reduce mindless complaining and increase personal happiness. And that’s not a bad thing.